“Don’t bring any blokes home! Don’t bother with work!” — dictated the demands of her ex-husband.
It’s rare to hear someone speak fondly of their former partner. But I’m not complaining,” begins her tale 40-year-old Helen from Nottingham. “Of course, it was tough when he left for a younger fling and left me with a newborn. At that moment, it felt like my world had collapsed. I stopped eating, stopped sleeping, just stared at my son, bewildered about why this was happening to us. But we got through it all. To his credit, he didn’t turn his back on our boy. He provided, checked in, and made sure we were taken care of. Not everyone does that.
Helen’s son, Harry, is now ten—a bright spark, the pride of his school, involved in football club and even has an English tutor. Throughout all this time, Helen hasn’t worked a single day. She did consider it, but her ex made it crystal clear: “No need for that. Stay at home, focus on the lad. I’ll cover everything.” And he really has kept his word.
“To be honest, I’m quite glad. I enjoy being home, keeping everything under control, feeling cozy and organized. I don’t have to battle through traffic every morning or listen to a boss drone on. Besides, Harry is well looked after. My ex entirely supports us—even child maintenance hasn’t been on the table for me. It’s all above board: groceries, clothes, clubs, holidays twice a year—he foots the bill,” Helen adds with a grin.
They live in his flat. Technically it’s his. But Helen isn’t just twiddling her thumbs; she’s been saving a little here and there, building a small nest egg. “If worse comes to worst, I’ll have enough for a year of comfortable living. Mind you, after ten years, it doesn’t amount to much. But it’s something, right?”
“He only asked one thing: don’t bring any gents home. ‘Sort out your romantic life wherever you like, just not around Harry.’ I agree with him on that. I don’t want to introduce some random bloke to my kid and say, ‘Look, this is your new stepdad.’ At the moment, I’m not even thinking about new relationships. I appreciate the quiet. Life is good when it’s calm.”
Not that she’s fighting suitors off. Yes, she’s well-groomed and attractive, but who wants a 40-year-old woman with a child? People shy away from commitment. And honestly, she doesn’t even want anyone now. She’s gotten used to her freedom and independence—and she’s happy to keep it that way.
However, her younger sister, Marie, has a very different perspective.
“You need to build a career, Helen! Why are you resting on your ex’s generosity? He might be paying today, but what about tomorrow? Harry’s going to grow up, and what’s next? Are you going to live in poverty, without a home, without a purpose? Don’t you see this could all end in a heartbeat?”
“Who else am I supposed to rely on?” Helen replies calmly. “Getting a job—what’s that, a guarantee? They can sack you at any moment. One day you’re a valued employee, and the next, you’re surplus to requirements.”
“Count on yourself, Helen. Learn to earn, then no one can dictate whether you can live in that flat, find love, or buy Harry a pair of trainers that cost a fortune. I just can’t fathom how you’d want to be so dependent on someone who’s already let you down once.”
“If it really comes to it, then I’ll look for a job. But why stress now? You’ve pulled late shifts for twenty years, and still, you might end up with nothing. So please, don’t lecture me. I’ve chosen my own path.”
“And mark my words, one day you’ll wake up and your ex won’t be sending money anymore. He’ll say, ‘Harry’s grown up now, you’re on your own.’ And then what? You’ll be a middle-aged woman with no experience, no profession, and no way to change your fate.”
“Marie, sweetheart, I’ve got ages before I’m an old crone. There’s always a need for cleaners in this city. I won’t go hungry. I’m not one to wallow in self-pity.”
Deep down, Helen suspects her sister is just feeling a bit envious. Marie has two kids, a mortgage, relentless shifts, and a perpetual shortage of cash. She hasn’t seen the sea in a decade. Meanwhile, Helen lives life without a worry, taking vacations with Harry and getting him everything he needs. Is that so bad?
But increasingly, nagging unease creeps into Helen’s mind. What if Marie is right? What if everything does come crashing down in an instant? Could she cope? Find work? Get back on her feet?
Right now, she feels she could handle it. But what tomorrow holds, well, that’s anyone’s guess.