“My wedding won’t be a children’s party” — selfish or the bride’s right?
My name is Emily. I’m twenty-nine, and in a month, I’m supposed to have one of the biggest moments of my life—my wedding. James and I have been together for three years, planning, saving, debating over venues, dresses, photographers… And just when everything seemed to fall into place, the worst part began—family drama.
Here’s the thing. From the start, James and I agreed: no young children at the wedding. No toddlers sprinting around, no babies in prams, no “Mum, he spilled juice on me!” Just adults. Why? It’s simple. I attended my cousin’s wedding last year, and it was pure chaos—screaming kids, trampled veils, juice-stained tablecloths, and the bride crying in a corner because chocolate smeared her dress. No one’s fault—just kids being kids. They were bored, restless, overheated. And parents? Too busy chasing after them to enjoy the day.
I don’t want my wedding to feel like a circus act. I want to dance, laugh, and not worry about tiny hands yanking my earrings or juice ruining my white heels. I want a celebration for us, for James, for our friends—not a playground meltdown with nappies and tantrums.
I made it clear from the start. When sending invitations, I personally told every relative: “No kids, please. We adore them, but this is an adults-only evening.” Polite, firm, no room for misunderstanding. Yet somehow, it still caused a firestorm.
My mum is leading the outrage. “You’re being selfish,” she says. “How can you expect your cousin to leave her three-year-old? Or your brother and his wife to abandon their newborn just for a dance? They won’t come unless their children do.”
Now I’m stuck. On one side—the wedding I’ve imagined. No shrieks, no spills, just midnight dancing and freedom to enjoy myself as a bride, not a babysitter. On the other—family I love, who refuse to compromise. I’m not asking them to give up parenthood. Just one evening—for me. Not forever, just this once.
Mum’s furious. “You don’t get it,” she argues. “A wedding is for family. It’s not just about you.” But I disagree. Since when do other people’s expectations outweigh my peace? Why must I spend my day panicking that a child might dive off the stage or wander into the pond?
Relatives are digging in. “No kids, no us.” Meanwhile, I’m standing in my wedding dress, stress twitching under my eye, wondering: What kind of celebration is this if everyone’s judging me?
Why do adults have to “consider everyone” when planning their own day? Why can’t it be the other way around? Just one night where we focus on champagne toasts and slow dances to our song—not nappies and spilled squash.
I won’t reshape my dream. I won’t hire entertainers or beg my bridesmaids to mind strangers’ kids. This isn’t a birthday party—it’s my wedding. And I have every right to want it my way.
So tell me—am I a monster for wanting an adults-only day? Or just brave enough to say what others won’t? If skipping one evening with kids is betrayal, maybe family bonds weren’t that strong to begin with.